


we'll make out okay

by merkintosh



Category: Glee
Genre: Kissing, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-30
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-21 20:06:52
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,452
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11951673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merkintosh/pseuds/merkintosh
Summary: It isn't like that, no matter what you think you saw.





	we'll make out okay

Burt could remember when Kurt was five and obsessed with weddings. He still was, honestly, but back then it was different. Back then, Kurt was tiny and excitable, constantly fidgeting and adjusting his clothes as well as Burt's so they were perfect.   
  
"Daddy, you're doing it wrong!" Kurt had said, his face shining with bemusement. Burt had looked at his wife and smiled.  
  
"Oh, I'm sorry, Kurt," he had said patiently as Kurt stomped and huffed from the tiny chair next to his at their backyard table. "Tell me what to do."  
  
"You have to kiss me on the _mouth,_ " Kurt said, his eyes going wide. "Then we'll be married and we'll go away on our honeymoon while mom makes dinner."  
  
Burt hadn't stopped smiling since the mock-wedding had started. Kurt had been insistent about everything being perfect, even though there had been no ceremony to speak of and nothing had happened beyond them dressing up and this. "Alright, Kurt. If you say so."  
  
Burt leaned over, closed his eyes and puckered his lips while Kurt happily stood up and kissed him right on the mouth. It was wet and tasteless and no different from Kurt kissing him on the cheek, but it made Kurt smile wide, his whole face shining from within. His wife laughed and clapped her hands in appreciation while Kurt closed his eyes and sighed. He scrambled in and clung to Burt's torso with sticky hands.  
  
"I love you, baby," Burt said, whispering it into Kurt's hair. Kurt laughed before running off into the house, his shiny new shoes hitting the ground loud enough for them to hear him stomping around with the door shut.   
  
Burt didn't think about that day again until years later, until she was gone. After the funeral, it had just been the two of them in that house; both of them completely clueless about how to function without her. He felt like his entire body was numb, his brain floating somewhere in space as he watched himself try to do even the simplest tasks. He could barely brush his teeth without crying.  
  
Kurt wasn't doing much better and it broke Burt's heart to see him sitting around and just looking around like she was hiding behind a corner. He couldn't help him though; he could barely help himself.  
  
That night, he was laying in bed and desperately trying to not think about the empty space next to him when Kurt came in. He was being quiet, like he thought Burt was asleep, as he tiptoed into the room. Burt didn't mean to stay silent, but he couldn't think of anything to say. Instead he watched as Kurt hesitated before lightly lifting the covers and sneaking into the bed. Before laying down in her spot.   
  
Burt rolled over onto his side and stared at Kurt, unmindful of how he flinched in surprise. There was just enough light in the room for him to see Kurt stare back at him, his eyes wide and unblinking. Silently, Kurt reached out and touched his face, his hands soft like hers. Burt reached out and pulled Kurt in for a hug. It was the only thing he knew how to do for sure nowadays.  
  
He meant to kiss Kurt on the forehead, but Kurt moved and he missed and hit him square on the mouth instead. It was dry and flat, but it was something. It was a connection and he couldn't help but think about that day when they had been a happy, whole family. So he left his mouth there and he kissed Kurt and he tried to get that day back.   
  
Before long, Kurt shuddered and relaxed in his arms, his breath hissing out of his closed mouth as he cried. Burt was crying too and he moved to turn the awkward grasp into something comfortable and real, his mouth moving on Kurt's as they fell into each other. Soon, the need to breathe became too much and the two of them were pressed together in a bizarre open-mouthed kiss. He fell asleep and stayed asleep for the first time since the funeral as they breathed into each other. When he woke up, Kurt was still in his arms, his face pressed against Burt's heart and they weren't whole again, but they weren't as broken anymore.  
  
It wasn't until years later that things went truly pear-shaped.

 

It became a normal thing they did, kissing on the mouth. Burt didn't think much of it and he doubted Kurt did either. It was just a reminder of their connection, that Kurt was the most important thing in his life. Burt may have had a hard time figuring out what to say to Kurt nowadays—especially since he hit puberty—but being able to walk in the house and see Kurt at the kitchen table, his face impossibly sad as he worked on his homework and to kiss him; it was like when he was little and Burt would kiss his aches and pains away.

 

This became their routine through junior high. Burt would come home, kiss Kurt; Kurt would make dinner, they wouldn't talk; they'd watch some reality TV show together and then go to bed. It was comfortable and easy, but it was so frustrating too. It was like Kurt was slipping away from him, inch by inch.

 

When freshman year of high school rolled in, Kurt was purposefully moving his face away so Burt would kiss his cheek. He let it slide because really, what could he say without the entire conversation becoming a very freaky, “You don't love me anymore like you did on our wedding day when you were five, Kurt,” kind of conversation that Burt was not prepared to have ever. He didn't want to lose Kurt, but he was growing up and he was different in a town that didn't like different. Burt figured this was just Kurt trying to make one thing about their relationship a normal father-son thing instead of this bizarre, frozen thing they had which only made sense when Kurt was just a little boy in love with weddings and his daddy.

 

At least, that's what he had thought was happening up until Burt got a phone call telling him his son was drunk and had just thrown up on his guidance counselor.

 

Getting Kurt home had been a trial. He was clumsy and hunched in on himself and it surprised Burt how big he was getting. It made dragging him into the house that much harder. Kurt was cooperating at least. Well, as well as he could considering how drunk he had to be. He smelled like rubbing alcohol and some sort of overly sweet perfume. It was insane for Burt to think about; that Kurt was drinking at school. He didn't do things like this, he was a good boy.

 

What was most disconcerting was how Kurt was crying and didn't seem to even notice or care.

 

“What is wrong, Kurt?” Burt finally asked after the half hour of silence they'd suffered through between him driving him home and getting him on the couch. “You don't do things like this, you're a good kid.”

 

Kurt just huffed out a weird laugh and crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“Dammit, Kurt!” Burt said, he slapped his hand down hard enough on the coffee table to startle Kurt into staring at him with wide eyes. “I can't help you if you keep me out. I can't lose you, I just _can't_.”

 

Kurt stared at him for a second, obviously in shock, before launching himself across the couch into Burt's arms and kissing him solidly on the mouth. Surprised, Burt gasped and tried to get a hold of Kurt to get him to stop squirming in his lap. That's when he felt the tentative swipe of a tongue inside his mouth. It was barely there, but it was undeniable. It also felt _good_.

 

Oh.

 

Seconds later, Kurt leaned in to rest his head on Burt's shoulder and stayed in his lap the entire time as he poured his heart out about school. He was still being cagey, but they were actually talking for the first time in years. It was a real heart-to-heart. Burt kept his arms around Kurt's waist and dropped his face into Kurt's soft hair and listened as he talked around the hard stuff, only hinting at how the bullying he faced was almost too much to take, at how lonely he was, how confused he felt about everything—especially himself.

 

When Kurt fell asleep, Burt stayed where he was even though his legs were starting to hurt from holding so much weight on them.

 

 


End file.
